提升托福写作水平-对中式英文说“NO!”

对很多中国托福考生来说，写作实际上是个翻译过程，如何把思想中的中文转化成现实中的英文是托福基础写作关心的问题，也是学生们首要应该解决的问题。但是我们的学生受思维定式的影响，如果在新托福写作中套汉语思维，就是中式化英语的表现。这只能使文章语言蹩脚、冗赘。所以考生在托福写作备考时，要注意英语表达和汉语表达的差别，重要的一点是托福写作应避免中式英文。

1、Original: If we agree to say that school offers us the best book knowledge acquisition then our society offers us the best surviving techniques in a hard way.

Revised: If we agree that school offers the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge, then our society offers us the best method for acquiring common sense or “street smarts”.

Agree to say that表达中式化，只需要agree that即可;the best book knowledge acquisition改为the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge(学校给我们提供了获取书本知识的好方法)更为恰当 ，同样后面的the best surviving techniques改为the best method for acquiring common sense,加上street marks(街头智慧)给文章的托福词汇增添色彩。

2、Original: They can spend more time studying education and communication to improve their role as a mother, wife and daughter.

Revised: They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in order to improve themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters.

原句中studying education and communication的说法中式化，不符合英语的表述，应该为studying，educating themselves。除了词语表达，此句中还存在其他问题，如名词单复数的使用：不是提高他们的角色，而是提高他们自身以扮演好母亲角色。

还有，女性不止一个人。很多人都在扮演母亲角色，role和mother应用复数，故将improve their role as a mother改为improve themselves in their roles as mother;同样，为保持一致，wife和daughter也可用复数，原文中wife的复数写法有误，应该是wives。

3、Original：If you can get the point of communication by watching TV，will you...?

Revised：If one can learn about communicating from television，will you...?

原句的get the point of communication by watching TV表达不清，让人难以理解，应该是指“从电视上学习交际”：learn about communicating from television.